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Setting the Mood For Romance and Love
By Steven D Chambers

We all want more romance and love in our lives. To get it we need to actively make the effort to foster these things in both our daily lives and in our relationships. Words are never enough, since romance and love can't be defined and bound by words alone. We need to go beyond words to express love and get more romance in our lives. Because romance is a mood, it is greatly influenced by nonverbal elements, body language and the environment.

So how do we create more romance in our lives? If you listen to a woman describe a romantic evening you'll notice rarely mentions what was said. If she talks about what was said at all, it will be a very small part of her description. She will talk about the lighting, how the room was decorated, the food, the smells, and the various sights and sounds of the evening. Romance is about creating a mood that entertains the senses and sets the scene for flirtation, seduction and courtship.

So how can we use the nonverbal elements of communication to set the mood for romance? First off, let's define nonverbal communication as that which communicates a certain message without words. It's more than just body language; it includes the elements of the environment around us in which the communication is taking place. The meaning of our communication is defined by the context in which that communication takes place so the physical space around us and the environment has an enormous impact on the messages we send. And as you know, some settings are definitely more romantic than others. This means we can create more romance in our lives and in our communication by designing and structuring the environment around us. Here are some ways to do that:

Physical Space - As discussed above, the physical space and the environment around us affects our moods and opinions greatly, especially in the romantic arena. Because its impact is so powerful, the first area we need to look at is the physical space in which we want to experience more romance.

Now there is no one definition of the perfect romantic environment. As individuals we all have different tastes and preferences so each person's idea of romance is unique. It's up to you to figure out just what it is that certain someone you're interested in considers being romantic. For some it will be a cabin in the woods by a roaring fire, for others a hammock somewhere in the tropics. I suggest you look inward and define the perfect romantic environment for yourself, then create it. This projects the authentic you and this will also appeal to someone compatible with whom you are and with what you like. Once you do this finding the right physical space is easy.

Color - Color affects us both physically and mentally so we need to choose the colors of our environment carefully. To create more romance it's best to find or adorn a location with peaceful and calming colors like blues, greens and browns. These tend to have a calming, tranquil effect and are much more likely to create a romantic mood. For romance to flourish, especially in the early days of a relationship, it's best to avoid bold colors like yellow and red as studies have shown these colors increase blood pressure and muscle tension...not very conducive to romance.

Music -Music has a powerful affect on our mood, which is why of course we have "mood music". Few people however, fully understand the effect certain types of music have on our physiology - your choice of music can "make or break" the romantic mood. Here's some good news, music played at a fast tempo can actually make you appear more attractive. A study conducted at North Adams State College (May and Hamilton, 1980) found a direct correlation between listening to rock music and attractiveness. In this study women who listened to Rock music, with its driving beats and fast tempo, rated photographs of men more attractive than they did when mellower music or no music was played. If anything the results of this study show that your choice of music can have a huge impact on how you are viewed and on how you view others.

Now, individual tastes may change, but choosing the right music can easily set the scene for romance. Choose your music with care.

Lighting - Soft lighting is associated with romance and seduction and for good reason. Lowering the lights causes us to grow quiet and enter into a more relaxed state. This is what makes candlelit dinners so romantic. Lower, softer lighting improves our sense of privacy and, just like fast tempo music, makes us appear more attractive, as the subdued light levels soften our appearance and cause us to look younger.

So there you have it, three ways to structure the environment around you to effectively increase and improve the chance of creating romance in your life and in the lives of others. Keep in mind that romance isn't a science with clearly defined rules and procedures. Romance is relative and unique to the individual. If you're looking to increase romance in your life go ahead and explore a little. You'll find creating romance to be fun and exciting. Go out and create a little more romance for yourself and in all the relationships in your life. I guarantee you're going to like it.

Body Language Expert Steve Chambers divides his time between being a full time sales representative, speaker and writer. An expert in nonverbal communication, persuasion techniques and the science of influence, Steve is available for training, consulting and speaking on the subjects of body language, sales effectiveness and on how to integrate persuasion techniques and methods into your life and career. Steve's website is at http://www.stevechambers.com

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